So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
