I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
