you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
