U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
