They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
