I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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