i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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