I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I came so hard my ears popped.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
