somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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