thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
