well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
everyone is single if you try hard enough
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
