Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
