she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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