"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
