he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
