alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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