She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize