My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
