i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
