I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
