We need to rekindle our bromance
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
