My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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