There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
