I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
