Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
