She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
