I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
