I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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