look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize