lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
