I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
