well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
