YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
