He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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