He is an equal opportunity slut.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize