Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We are all done wearing pants today
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize