what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
