If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
