I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just cropdusted the office
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
