I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize