There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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