You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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