I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
and i looked up. we had an audience...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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