I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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