I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
