Do you still have your period?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
