yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
