just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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