is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
