If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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