I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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