Sry I called you an 8
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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