Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
