If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
