I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize