drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
