All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
