never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
