How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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