So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize