dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Panties = found
Randomize
