I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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