Say something about gay babies.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
