I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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