I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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