my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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