I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
