oh god the rape fog is back!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
